(no subject)

I just judged a competition for the weirdest carrot in the children's garden. I had to disqualify the beetroot, and struggled in the face of blatant bribery and corruption. In the end the perfectly round one got it. I love this job! Children like me! Yay!

Cedric has a friend

Her name is Marmelade Cat.

Sometimes we get up in the morning and she is waiting patiently outside for him. When he is not allowed out he wails at her through the window.

She is twice his size and climbs up on walls and then waits for him to find his way up (this takes a while).

Yesterday she left him a dead bird in his garden as a special present.

I hope he returns the attention and romance and does not merely attempt to dry hump her with his cut-off testicles as he has done to all our shoes.

Lxxx